for example Praterstern
Posted 04 December 2005 - 11:22 AM
The film is in german language only, sorry for that, but would be nice from you to say something about my shooting. At the first link you would get a Quicktime7 video, if it is not running try the second link, but there are some artefacts in the copy.
the second project is a trailer to a documentary about the underground of vienna, shooting locations like you know from the "third man".
thx a lot.
Posted 05 December 2005 - 11:50 AM
It was long and I wished I could of watched it all. I am afraid that I don't speak German, so was unable to appreciate the story.
First shot of traffic fine and second too....third fine too...when orange truck passes...ok.... that's lots of traffic....why so much?
I think better would be 2 shots of traffic with the last one becoming a little out of focus as he 'wakes' from a day dream to get off the train because then u r combining two scenes and it flows better...
Anyway, when he gets off tram, he should of walked up to the camera and we should of seen some expression on his face. Maybe he should of stopped in front of the camera, looked around, smiled and then lit his cigarette and walked out of frame. Whaddaya think?
Why does that street musician play his awful mouthpiece for so long, its not relevant is it? Edit it out? I would.
The woman...? why is she messing with the baby for so long? What are they saying? no subtitles? Then, the German dialogue after that seems ok, although I don't speak German.
Some of the handheld shots of him after that are a bit shaky and we should see more of *her* face as she responds, or better, as they respond to each other.
When she takes the baby to a friend's house..we should of had a close-up of their faces in dialogue.
The shot from the floor looking up at them both is odd. It would work if we hearing the baby's internal dialogue whilst 'listening' to them. Although, I feel, this would be out of place for this story approach. Why a handheld panning from the statue? what were you trying to say?
The hospital corridor: you track forwards shakily and then are forced to track back = not so great. Shouldn't the camera tracking forwards 'meet' the person as they 'arrive' at the door?
The composition of her face as she approcahes the door = yes
Panning back to the woman in black = ok, but you need to pan quicker. Can't we get some better facial expressions? These ladies need to use their facial muscles a bit more.
Looking at his books on train = too long. I like when he looked at the photo, eventhough it could of been clearer and less shaky. I like his smile at the photo, but poorly edited with those two shots. Combine all that scene into two shots over 10 seconds! Whaddaya think? It's not that important is it?
Interesting locations. You have gone to lots of work!
But please do more close-ups and facial expressions to establish emotion and character in heighteneing u r story.
Second 'film' = random shots of "underground of vienna" edited together with melancholic music.....why? what does it all mean? Sorry to be harsh, but meaning is very important.
Posted 05 December 2005 - 04:50 PM
I will take a look to the edit.