Jump to content


Photo

HORROR short film


  • Please log in to reply
8 replies to this topic

#1 Zamir Merali

Zamir Merali
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 185 posts
  • Director

Posted 06 November 2006 - 08:07 PM

Ok so i've made another short film. This ones about 6 minutes long. Check it out and tell me what you think. The compression is youtube but i can't aford anything you have to pay for so itl have to do. Thank alot guys


  • 0

#2 Morgan Peline

Morgan Peline
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 417 posts
  • Cinematographer

Posted 07 November 2006 - 08:40 PM

Hi,

Hey - what can I say everytime you make a new film I see a marked improvement. They just keep getting better! Keep going - at this rate if you keep making new films you'll be commissioned to do the next Scream 10 in a few years time!

I do have a few issues though. To be frank - your framing is atrocious. You should start framing in thirds or do something!!!!!!

First of all I think you should start shooting widescreen; 16 by 9 at least - you can put fake letter box stickers on your camcorder LCD screen then you can make things look more cinematic in post by adding a fake letter-box effect on your 4 by 3 footage in post.

Back to composition. Your eyelines are all over the place! And so are your singles to POV shots. If I remember rightly sometimes you cut to a POV shot without even showing who's looking. This works well sometimes for suspense but I'm sure I remember instances where there was a POV shot on it sown...I might be wrong.

Read these books - they will help you no end - I think your editing is getting quite good!

And also watch more movies to look at framing and editing e.g Scream as it seems to be favourite genre!

If you read this - you will improve!:

http://www.amazon.co...-...TF8&s=books

If you manage to finish this it will make you a film grammar god! Expensive and thick but a masterpiece!:

http://www.amazon.co...g...TF8&s=books


With those books and your editing - the world is your oyster!
  • 0

#3 David Sweetman

David Sweetman
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 757 posts
  • Student

Posted 07 November 2006 - 08:58 PM

Very nice, huge improvement! It kept me interested all the way through. The daughter's dialogue to the boy started out cheezy, but it really came together when she refrenced her own parents. The performances for the most part felt much more genuine. Good job.
  • 0

#4 Zamir Merali

Zamir Merali
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 185 posts
  • Director

Posted 07 November 2006 - 09:13 PM

wow thanks guys. I really appreciate feed back like this, you extra motivate me to do my next movie which I am sceenwritting now. This was actually done in wide screen but when i put it on youtube it compressed it into 4:3. I recently got a nice microphone so i can stop spending so much time trying to clean the audio in post.

I'm really glad you guys liked it.
  • 0

#5 Jon Lohne

Jon Lohne
  • Basic Members
  • PipPip
  • 16 posts
  • Other

Posted 05 February 2007 - 08:17 PM

wow thanks guys. I really appreciate feed back like this, you extra motivate me to do my next movie which I am sceenwritting now. This was actually done in wide screen but when i put it on youtube it compressed it into 4:3. I recently got a nice microphone so i can stop spending so much time trying to clean the audio in post.

I'm really glad you guys liked it.


Cool stuff, what are you shooting with? Also about how long did you spend shooting this? It seems to me that a little more planning for your shots would go a long way for improving the look you are trying to achieve, also spend a little more time lighting your shots, I know that you tube makes it hard to tell what the lighting looked like but I am just commenting on what I saw. Keep up the effort, it will pay off for you.

jon
  • 0

#6 Robert G Andrews

Robert G Andrews
  • Guests

Posted 08 February 2007 - 06:18 PM

Zamir: I'm afraid I couldn't really watch it, but not because it was too scary... Sorry, but it was a thumbs all the way down to the ground. Better luck next time. Lighting....what happened? Acting....hmmmm.... Suspense......didn't notice it, soundtrack....inappropriate. I just didn't geddit. To be honest I knew it from the very first shot...
  • 0

#7 Richard Boddington

Richard Boddington
  • Sustaining Members
  • 5482 posts
  • Director

Posted 10 February 2007 - 11:03 AM

Zamir: I'm afraid I couldn't really watch it, but not because it was too scary... Sorry, but it was a thumbs all the way down to the ground. Better luck next time. Lighting....what happened? Acting....hmmmm.... Suspense......didn't notice it, soundtrack....inappropriate. I just didn't geddit. To be honest I knew it from the very first shot...


Gee Robert I hope you pass on reviewing my film.

You can usually find some thing positive to mix in with constructive criticism. Especially when effort, budget, and experience level are taken into account.

R,
  • 0

#8 Matthew Buick

Matthew Buick
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPipPip
  • 2345 posts
  • Student
  • Newcastle upon Tyne, UK.

Posted 10 February 2007 - 05:19 PM

Not bad, the cinematography was nice, but some times the framing didn't work too well, in many places I could make out very little, but apart from that you did pretty well.

The suspense was nice, but I didn't approve of all the screaming (I was wearing heaadphones at the time)/

Overall I pretty nifty little movie, I commend you and hope for many more.
  • 0

#9 Zamir Merali

Zamir Merali
  • Basic Members
  • PipPipPip
  • 185 posts
  • Director

Posted 10 February 2007 - 06:31 PM

Zamir: I'm afraid I couldn't really watch it, but not because it was too scary... Sorry, but it was a thumbs all the way down to the ground. Better luck next time. Lighting....what happened? Acting....hmmmm.... Suspense......didn't notice it, soundtrack....inappropriate. I just didn't geddit. To be honest I knew it from the very first shot...


I completely agree with you Robert. Its been about 2 months since i made this and i'm working on my 4 th movie since then. Looking back I can see that everything you say is right. The movies I made after this one are a lot better than this one. Hopefully I can look back on these movies and see them as being very bad later.

Here is a movie i made a little bit after this one.

http://films.thelot.com/films/2666
  • 0


rebotnix Technologies

Aerial Filmworks

CineLab

Visual Products

Paralinx LLC

Willys Widgets

Wooden Camera

Abel Cine

Opal

Tai Audio

Metropolis Post

Technodolly

Glidecam

Rig Wheels Passport

FJS International, LLC

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Ritter Battery

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

CineTape

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

The Slider

The Slider

Glidecam

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Rig Wheels Passport

Wooden Camera

Metropolis Post

Opal

rebotnix Technologies

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

FJS International, LLC

Abel Cine

CineLab

Paralinx LLC

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Tai Audio

Aerial Filmworks

Technodolly

Willys Widgets

Ritter Battery

CineTape

Visual Products