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"Pancakes" short apocalyptic drama


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#1 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 02:04 AM

Hello!

I recently DPed (and wrote) a short student film called "Pancakes" for my film class at school. I am a junior at Emerson College in Boston, and given that this forum is filled with professional and knowledgeable individuals, I would love all comments and critiques regarding this film, not only in it's cinematographic aspects (as this is my field of interest), but also in the film as a whole. It was shot on 16mm with an Arri SRI. The apartment scenes were shot with Kodak 7217, and the beach scenes with 7201.

You can watch the film here:

http://www.enzymefil...ncakesview.html

All honest comments are greatly appreciated! Thank you!

Elliot
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#2 Jamey Johnson

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Posted 03 January 2007 - 02:53 AM

This bears a striking resemblence to Deep Impact (1998).


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#3 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 03 January 2007 - 03:10 PM

This bears a striking resemblence to Deep Impact (1998).
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someone else told me that too. Interestingly, I have never seen it.

While a resemblance may be there, I would appreciate some technical feedback. Thanks.
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#4 Martin Yernazian

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Posted 03 January 2007 - 04:48 PM

I do recall Deep Impact .... but besides of originality you guys did a good job.... the shots could be better, the editing more consistant, the sound need it more work, but as an avarege I liked a lot
the acting was ok but at the end you guys got me with the perfomance and the bomb was great and solved a lot of the questions that I had script wise....

Good work
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#5 Easton Sheahan-Lee

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Posted 04 January 2007 - 12:36 PM

I liked that alot actually, not that I'm a professional producer or anything but it was really appealing. The only way I find it reminds me of Deep IMpact is that they face their deaths together. It was really a good story though. Who did the Mushroom cloud affect?
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#6 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 07 January 2007 - 01:22 AM

I liked that alot actually, not that I'm a professional producer or anything but it was really appealing. The only way I find it reminds me of Deep IMpact is that they face their deaths together. It was really a good story though. Who did the Mushroom cloud affect?


Hey, glad you enjoyed it. The VFX at the end were done by Matt Chandler (he's on imdb), he really did a great job for us, considering that he lives in a different hemisphere.
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#7 Jon Rosenbloom

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Posted 07 January 2007 - 01:17 PM

Nicely done. A good student film. Technically, it's ok. Some shots are a little soft (the man's c/u's in his bedroom). In the apt. wide shot, you gave your actor a bit of a hair cut, and at other times cut off their feet a little awkwardly. I get the feeling you must have been fighting the boom or some lighting in the ceiling. (Also, I think you must have had one of those Angenieux 12-120mm lenses that breathes like crazy and has the minimum focus of 5'. )

In the man's c/u in the kitchen, I felt the warm/cold lighting was backward. It was perfectly acceptable to try for a less flat shot, but the cold light should have been coming from camera right, as the wide shot had established where the windows are in the room.

Last, the door openning when the woman leaves the apartment gave away a lightsource (maybe a daylight kino??). Either, you could have set a flag, or you could have "hollywooded" a flag in front of that light just for that moment.

Sounds like I'm focussing on the errors ... But I hope it's constructive. Good, naturalistic cinematography is largely a matter of eliminating "mistakes."

Show us the next one.

Best,
Jon

Edited by Jon Rosenbloom, 07 January 2007 - 01:18 PM.

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#8 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 10 January 2007 - 02:14 AM

In the apt. wide shot, you gave your actor a bit of a hair cut, and at other times cut off their feet a little awkwardly. I get the feeling you must have been fighting the boom or some lighting in the ceiling. (Also, I think you must have had one of those Angenieux 12-120mm lenses that breathes like crazy and has the minimum focus of 5'. )

In the man's c/u in the kitchen, I felt the warm/cold lighting was backward. It was perfectly acceptable to try for a less flat shot, but the cold light should have been coming from camera right, as the wide shot had established where the windows are in the room.


Hey jon - thank you very much for your critique and feedback. After reading your post I felt that you had actually been on our set! - indeed, we were trying to keep a 1k arri softlight (on the ceiling) out of frame, and yes, we did have a lens that was breathing like crazy with 5' min focus. but it wasn't angenieux, it was a zeiss 10-100 F2 MK1 lens. I wrote a complaint to my school's equipment distribution center informing them of the issue and that perhaps the lens (especially a zeiss -- typically well constructed lenses) should be adjusted/repaired/or replaced. As for the window lighting issue you had, it came down to the director and I asking "how can we add motivated supplemental light" over whether or not we should. The small apartment and time constraints made it difficult, and eventually impractical for us to light from that direction.

Thanks again for your feedback!
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#9 Jon Rosenbloom

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Posted 10 January 2007 - 12:38 PM

Well, I have been there ... just on someone else's set!! Tough to put it succinctly, but the biggest steps I take from one film to the next, is adding one fiber of discipline, or determination to eliminate the problems that come up. For instance, last January during the course of a shoot, we were having a issue w/ a soft flare. Student film, SAG actors, everything is a rush so we can finish in 12 hours, so rather than take 5 minutes to fix the flare, we just shoot. Now the film is playing in festivals all over the country, (including the New York Jewish Film Festival) w/ that f***ing flare. The five minutes to fix them are transient, but if you shoot them, the mistakes are permanent.

Best,
Jon.
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#10 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 20 January 2007 - 03:30 PM

UPDATE: I had to take the link down. We are currently submitting the film to some festivals. I'd like to thank everyone for their comments and feedback, it really helped me learn a lot. I'm taking my last production course this semester and will be shooting a 10 minute film on Super 16, which i will post here upon it's completion. Thanks again!
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#11 Satsuki Murashige

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Posted 22 January 2007 - 04:22 AM

... we did have a lens that was breathing like crazy with 5' min focus. but it wasn't angenieux, it was a zeiss 10-100 F2 MK1 lens. I wrote a complaint to my school's equipment distribution center informing them of the issue and that perhaps the lens (especially a zeiss -- typically well constructed lenses) should be adjusted/repaired/or replaced.

Nahh, that lens just breathes, nothing you can do about it. Actually, if you're somewhere in the center of the zoom range, you can compensate for the breathing by zooming out slightly on far-to-close focus pulls and vice-versa. By the way, the minimum focus for that lens is actually 3'7" or so. The lens just isn't marked past 5', so you have to paper tape the lens barrel and make your own marks.
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#12 Nick Mulder

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Posted 22 January 2007 - 05:12 AM

Not Found
The requested URL /pancakesview.html was not found on this server.

:rolleyes:
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#13 Elliot Rudmann

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Posted 24 January 2007 - 03:05 AM

Not Found
The requested URL /pancakesview.html was not found on this server.


Hey Nick, I put the film back up, but I can't keep it up for long. Let me know what you think. Thanks a lot!
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