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Need Some Constructive Criticism


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#1 Adam McDaid

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Posted 21 May 2007 - 05:37 PM

I was hoping to get some criticism of a relatively recent project that I'm trying to put the finishing touches on in terms of final color correction. It's a project I shot on 35 as a final degree requirement for my MFA. Any notes would be greatly appreciated.

http://www.thinklab....ideo/alexandra/


Thanks,
Adam
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#2 aaron wade

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Posted 22 May 2007 - 11:13 PM

Absolutely love the opening shot! Colors, composition,...
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#3 Timothy Lee Ray

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Posted 23 May 2007 - 10:08 AM

Standing on the metro rail platform was beautiful and the interior shots of the sewing was warm and pleasing.

The only thing that bothered me was the the walk down the hall with the colored flurorescents, they seemed to wash out the woman in white and take away from the CG butterflies.

I know absolutely nothing about film, I'm more into digital compositions and video.
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#4 Jamie Metzger

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Posted 28 May 2007 - 03:57 PM

YOu have some good stuff in there. Nice palette. I'm not sure what the final product is going to be, but it has a nice overall look.
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#5 Bruce Greene

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Posted 31 May 2007 - 01:38 PM

I was hoping to get some criticism of a relatively recent project that I'm trying to put the finishing touches on in terms of final color correction. It's a project I shot on 35 as a final degree requirement for my MFA. Any notes would be greatly appreciated.

http://www.thinklab....ideo/alexandra/
Thanks,
Adam


Adam,

It looks great. I really can't make any suggestions for improvements. I'm sure if there is a way to improve it, you'll find it yourself as you seem to have a fine "eye".

-bruce
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#6 Algis Kemezys

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Posted 09 July 2007 - 08:50 PM

This starts off really wonderfully . The look and color mood Great. It fell apart with me towards the end. I didn't like the dress and then something seemed to turn cheap, she seemed to turn cheaper than what I guess I expected. I guess I was looking for something more that isn't quite there yet for me. Could you shoot some more footage ? Otherwise very good values and moods... keep up the good work and success should follow.
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#7 Michael Palm

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Posted 10 July 2007 - 09:46 AM

Apply what you do in this to another story.

Because this story felt non-existant.

You have the eye for composition, lighting, and movement. Use it with a story that matches your skill.
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#8 Jamie Lewis

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Posted 13 July 2007 - 09:58 AM

I thought it was shot beautifully. The lighting was fantastic. You did a really good job, congrats.
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#9 Josh Brokenbourgh

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Posted 13 July 2007 - 11:00 AM

Color:
The overall color mix is great, except for the medium pull of the dream sequence with the color fluorescent- it's blown. Here's my theory. First I don't think the light bulbs are as important as Joy says they are. They are right in the middle of the frame and are way too hot. I don't know anything about 35 so as far as accomplishing the exposure with the right stock- it's out of my expertise. But, I would move those lights down into the corners of the hall- so you have the same effect of her being on a runway but we are still focused on our character and her representation of beauty (which I assume are the butterflies flying out of her mouth)- not the over powering lights which don't match in luminance (this is a color density/saturation/hue issue with the bulbs). When you are c/u at at the head of the butterfly sequence her figure covers up some of the floor and since she's so close our focus is obvious *her*, but the reflecting light from the hardwoods, in the shot I was describing above, is very distracting as well- and maybe an issue for eye-trace. Another consideration is since there is so much coming from the lights on the rails the cg mix is a bit off, matching the dynamic range of gamma/luminance with those butterflies is very time consuming and painstaking. Also hide your power cord under the lights on that shot too- on the left hand side. When she is at her workstation right before she takes the *real* runway it is at a medium waist up medium and light on her right side- her ribcage tells me it's bright outside- watch your planes- if you use a plane like that it looks like day light- especially for it's warmth. The fixture lights on her desk add even more to that balance of light emotion. The issue with this is the very next shot were it's matched on action to her arm picking a flower, it goes dark. The biggest sign of this is the beaker near her right arm. If this was intentional to show that she is going into "a dark realm" then we need more signs of it because every thing else is expressed very clearly. Another note to the art director- is the final shot looks like stock footage if there's nothing in the b/g. If black is the statement your making pick a emotion that black can represent and stylize it- don't just put black, it's not interesting.

First impression:
I liked that the color pallet matched the story- it seemed like we were going for fruity and bizarre. I also thought the story was super quirky, and esoteric. Since there is no dialogue we are left with what all the visual and sound signs are telling us. The lighting, color, action, framing and music selections show us she is an open yet complicated individual that likes to try new things. When she is eating the plant we see her picking at it from about 7 feet away and it's dark but we are allowed in her personal space- so she is comfortable and we are left guessing. The next shot is a c/u of her showing character with the face but we are being very personal at this distance so it makes me think that she is bored when she is alone she has to try new things to keep busy or entertained. Then it jumps into the dream/fantasy sequence and all technicals things aside I think that is where maybe we are trying to establish conflict- but it doesn't happen- it's simply a dream about desire. Then when she actually goes on the runway thats our payoff- so really it's just a dog and pony show with technical skill and no story.

Story is just as important to cinematographers as it is the writer, and the director. But this could also be a relationship issue with you, the director, the art director and anyone else. It's great to have people working together, but to force a relationship with someone to get work done can be hell. If you don't at least give the director and art director your two cents then communication will be cut and the show will reflect that.

I hope your final goes well. It looks like you put a lot of work into this yourself and personally I like how it looks. You move well, and your eye is focused. Keep shooting and find someone that matches your detail to work with.
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#10 Kieran Scannell

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Posted 13 July 2007 - 02:25 PM

Adam.

No criticism, it looks gorgeous! be assured "cum Laude"

Kieran.
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