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My short film: "One of Twins"


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#1 Shane Ramirez

Shane Ramirez

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Posted 18 October 2007 - 06:14 PM

Hey, I am new to this forum but I would like to receive anyones opinion on my work with a short film I made.

It can be viewed here. You can view it at http://www.myspace.com/oneoftwins. Check it out!

I work as a director but I have handled the shooting of all of my projects. Naturally, I have gained an appreciation for cinematography. My knowledge of it is self taught and therefore I have never played around with lighting kits, I have only ever used natural light. This might make me at a disadvantage down the way into a greater career or collaborative career, so I am intersted in what others think.

Edited by Shane Ramirez, 18 October 2007 - 06:19 PM.

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#2 Mark Sanew

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Posted 18 October 2007 - 09:20 PM

Well I will start with the good.
Your story telling ability is good, it was smooth and well done.
The narration and many of your shots flowed with the story as well as the look.
The story had me interested but I was immediately questioning why if they struggle for their identities do they dress the same all the time?
Why do they look so much the same?

The story of the girl was somewhat lost on me.

So on to my problems.
Myspace blows, the quality of the video and audio is so bad it would not matter if you shot with a VHS-C camera or film the quality is so poor.
It looked like there was some great use of the natural light and some good shots, some very good ones but the encoding is awful.

I wore studio headphones and the audio is a bit rough, the audio transitions were choppy, but I realize you were probably focusing more on the shots and story so it's not a major thing.
The music went well with it and hid most of the problems.

Its hard to go to locations and get dead silence for each scene.

Overall the shots, the look (from what I could see) and your story telling ability is good.
I lost interest a bit in the characters only because I felt like the story was playing on one tone.
The range of emotion stayed in neutral or low. No comedy and no real points of upswing. But that may be the story.
Regardless I am hardly a pro but thats my take.
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#3 Shane Ramirez

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Posted 18 October 2007 - 10:08 PM

Thanks. Myspace does suck for videos but so does the compression on iMovie which unfortunately is all I have right now. Audio for me is the hardest thing to achieve with minimal equipment. So yeah, I did focus more on the shots. Thanks for complementing the story structure. It is supposed to seem very distant (its a subjective POV from the main character who is recalling past memories). Anyway, thanks for taking the time to watch it.
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Wooden Camera

CineTape

Aerial Filmworks

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Abel Cine

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

Tai Audio

The Slider

FJS International, LLC

Paralinx LLC

CineLab

Willys Widgets

Technodolly

Metropolis Post

Glidecam

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Ritter Battery

Rig Wheels Passport

Opal