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Short shot on Super8


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#1 Emil Soderman

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 07:58 AM

Hello

This is a short shot on Super8, Ektachrome 64T on a Beaulieu 5008MS.
This was shot in the end of 2007, I would love the get some critique and feedback on it please.

Enjoy, here's a link to Blip.tv
(I recommend you watching it in the original .mp4 format if you got the time to let it load)

FLV: http://blip.tv/file/...DeJagade936.flv
MP4: http://blip.tv/file/...DeJagade936.mp4

Thank you!
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#2 Serge Teulon

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Posted 16 May 2008 - 12:08 PM

I love Ektachrome stock!

I like the lighting. If I was you I would've worked a bit more on the pace and fluidity. There just seems to be a bit too much space in between shots, if you know what I mean.
Also, work a bit more on the gunshots effects. They kinda cheapen the rest of the work which is a real shame as it is good.

S
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#3 Alexander pueringer

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Posted 18 May 2008 - 05:57 PM

i liked your work very much! it´s a very unusual look, and a bit hard to gent into at an instant, but once it got me; I enjoyed watching!

Lightning was very cool, and if I might say,true to the period of Super8 movies. Sometimes i felt the colors were a bit strong (talking about light colors). What gels did you use?

All in all an interesting approach to the story!
Alex
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#4 Emil Soderman

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 11:19 AM

Thanks for your reply serge, I agree that the tempo and pace is a bit of at times I can?t really specify exactly where, but I agree it?s a problem in general. The gun effects, yeah, especially the ricochets are somewhat off, but kind of flows whit the B-movie esthetics, but in a kind of 2008 way I guess.


And thank you Alexander as well, glad to hear you overall liked it! By strong colors do you mean the blue backlight? Something in the front lighting maybe? The gels used are 1/2 CTO, full CTO. 1/2 CTB + Full CTB, ND and Frost. The backlight was left at 5600k, some front light got CTB, and the Red light is Blondies through red garbage bags.
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#5 Matthew W. Phillips

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Posted 19 May 2008 - 01:20 PM

I watched this short and was very impressed with the technical aspect of it. I messed around with Ekta 64t and never had the success you did with it. I had much more success with vision2 stocks. You did, however, make it look great. As far as the story, it did have interesting elements but I agree with whoever said that, for a short, it seemed like it had too much drag time. I would have probably cut half of that out for a final cut to submit to the fest circuit.

I like the music you incorporated for your film. It was used sparingly and was quite appropriate to the subject matter. I hope this helps.
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#6 Billy Furnett

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Posted 20 May 2008 - 09:16 PM

Here is a long critique, please don?t take it as over critical or too filled with what could have been, or could have been different, overall if you set out to make something good, you did.

I think this is very cool, not perfect, but exciting in that an action driven-greater consequences larger scale short story told through Super 8 is an ambitious gamble, and the dark/light atmospheres that lend urgency to the locations which in turn lend urgency to the odds stacked against the main characters, make that gamble pay off, in fact it allows the piece as a whole to break from the confines one might generally associate with a Super 8 short. It engaged me just as a television show or feature flick costing much more to make would.

The muzzle flashes and impact scatters are a bit much, but they?re quick.

I find the Soldiers tactical combat (Advance/Cover/Advance) gestures and motions an excellent detail and noteworthy of effective visual characterization.

Their gestures could easily have been over looked or taken for granted in thinking the uniforms will take care of all things Soldier, such as plagues many big idea shorts and low budget features, but here that detail comes across as an appropriate extension of the uniforms, and really sells the Soldiers selling their own action.
Without those gestures, its guys in costumes, clowns with sticks, with those gestures its armed uniformed soldiers carrying out a command in a manner they are trained to do so. For what?s its worth the effective visual characterization spins suspended disbelief gold by way of those gestures.

The exception to this is the General?s initial ?After them!? gesture, it kind of comes across more like an umpire or referee, but no big deal.

The gas masks are over the top, but I love the unmasking of a villain or co-villain, the characters grouping in the shot, and close up that follows.

I like that one of the soldiers is shooting at them with a gas mask on! lol

For editing:

Have you thought to cut back and forth between them walking down the hall AND the dolly shot from ?holding cell? to ?experiment room? ? Not like they are passing the cell and traveling to the experiment room, but instead establishing a situation of the cell and experiment as it simultaneously takes place with them growing closer to walking in on it.

Cross cutting there would allow the reaction shot at 1:50 (them turning the corner and looking in on the cell) to be bumped up to what is at 2:10?ish, (to be perceived as them turning the corner and looking in as the ?Doctor? has just turned away from where they now stand with a precarious vantage point. This would also place a shot of them closer to ?Wait!? from the General.

As it is, it comes across like they have walked in to discover the cell, but did nothing, and more importantly didn?t get the heck out dodge ASAP, instead went deeper into things and out of their way to find trouble, additionally it visually suggests they would walk in face to face with ?The Doctor?.

I would drop or shorten the General smoking at 4:21- 4:39, it seems like filler that accidentally paints too much of a do nothing villain in the heat of a battle.

He can be equally illustrated as the one that flexes the muscle or pulls the strings and again thinks his men can carry out his command IF we check back to find he HAS BEEN casually smoking and observing. His confidence gone awry and subsequent disappointment in his men, plus the up a notch sense of having to take matters into his own hands can all be communicated by just using the exhale and grind out the smoke shot. Otherwise from 4:21-4:39 you interrupt the flow of action and move the story sideways into a tale of when, where and how the General enjoys a smoke.

The car scene at 5:45 MIGHT be mirrored the opposite direction to better flow with the direction of the shot following it, it?s hard to tell, but for sure that scene is slow and drops the chase action a notch when it should bring the chase action up a notch.
Maybe the fix is to speed that scene up a bit.

A few things could use trimming or speeding up actually, but they are minor:

I almost want to say the guy jiggles on that locked door too long, but no big deal.

I wouldn?t have minded if the girl said (Even in subtitle) ?Can we just go, I?m cold and this place gives me the creeps!?

The guy?s gaze when he discovers the way in is over long.

The fade out- fade in at 3:14 to 3:16 is too suggestive of a lengthy passage of time,
I would swap what is at 3:20 (the vehicle and soldiers approaching) with what is at 3:16, (Them squatting down hiding when they notice the vehicle and soldiers approaching), to keep the action going and circumvent that fade out- fade in.

The end is good, but it feels wanting in that which is equal to the story?s large scale/big consequence nature, like the girl should reveal herself to be an agent or something.

This might simply be an artifact of shorts often having a twist or something that ties things together at their end, which I feel the absence of.

I can see the end like this:

?You have no idea who you?re dealing with!!? BANG - THUMP ?Neither- do -you!?
She turns to her stunned guy companion, ?Nor you.? BANG ? THUMP
She smacks a fresh clip in to the gun and -SHICK SHUCK- chambers a round,
?And it?s perfect.? She starts back inside to finish the job- BLACK- MUSIC- Credits.

Bottom line, it?s a very cool short, and given the opportunity via cash and a hookier concept script, it?s not much of a stretch to say I can see this team making something as least as good, but likely better than Hostel, for maybe half the cost.
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#7 Emil Soderman

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Posted 07 June 2008 - 05:34 AM

I have been planning on giving abit longer replay to your great feedback Billy and Matthew, but seems i dont really have the time..
Anyhow, really appreciate your feeback and comments, very helpfull and inspiering, thanks allot!
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#8 James Hudson

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Posted 02 July 2008 - 03:57 PM

I think billy wants you to make it more american :P

(although I really like that corridor/experiment room intercut idea)

Edited by James Hudson, 02 July 2008 - 03:59 PM.

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