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#1 Thomas James

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Posted 02 August 2010 - 03:31 PM

It's Official, work has begun on my new movie which is based on my original 2084 series.
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#2 Vincent Sweeney

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 01:26 AM

I'm still waiting for some "behind the scenes". What can you report?
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#3 Thomas James

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 05:18 PM

I have been busy pitching my script to a potential actress recruit who loves my work but she seems more interested in Artificial Intelligence. So I have put "Nuclear Heaven" on hold and I am instead pitching chapters of my original work which is "2084 The Humanoid Robot". This is a story about a misunderstood construction worker who has trouble keeping a job so he decides to end his life by jumping off of a building. The suicide attempt is botched and the victim becomes a cripple confined to a wheelchair. However a compassionate Doctor decides to rebuild his mind and body using robot technology which turns him into a cyborg.
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#4 Vincent Sweeney

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 07:43 PM

So, like Steve Austin then? Although he was hurt in that place crash.

An actress that's only into AI eh? We've all been there.
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#5 Thomas James

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 08:54 PM

Yes it is like Steve Austin in the "6 Million Dollar Man." My movie features a fully functional humanoid robot which has already been conceptualized. A robotic exoskeleton not yet conceptualized which is an adaptation of a humanoid robot that can operate as either a cyborg or an independent robot as well as already conceptualized bionic hands and limbs feet and eyes. Only real working robotic designs and inventions will be allowed in my movie however a lower budget pilot version will feature conceptual drawings that are presented to the patient rather than actual motorized puppets . Nothing will be phony down to the last gear however the operation of the robot may be simulated.

Artificial Intelligence was the name of Steven Spielbergs movie which was about humanoid robotics. Since artificial intelligence is the computer technology that controls robotics my actresses interest in artificial intelligence or AI qualifies her for a role in my movie. My movie also features a lot of virtual reality psychotherapy sequences as the mind as well as the body is restored.
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#6 Vincent Sweeney

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 10:37 PM

Cool. I assume you will be trying for 48fps 65mm then?

When Steve Austin would jump or lift something heavy, there was a cool-as-hell sound made. Are you doing anything like that?

Here you go.
http://cache.io9.com.../bionicjump.mov

And don't forget his zooming bionic vision:
http://cache.io9.com...o9bioniceye.mov
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#7 Chris Millar

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Posted 25 August 2010 - 11:49 PM

Since artificial intelligence is the computer technology that controls robotics ...


Eh ???
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#8 Thomas James

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 01:09 AM

One thing you learn in this trade is not to annoy the producer by burning up excessive amounts of film stock especially when using 65mm film which should be shot at 24 fps max and even then used very sparingly for a few select scenes. Since 48 fps maxes out at 2K resolution for digital projection 2perf 35mm film shot at 48 fps should be good enough for fast action and virtual reality sequences.

The cyborg exoskeleton will come complete with motorized binocular zoom vision so it will be unnecessary for bionic implants to also have zoom vision.
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#9 Vincent Sweeney

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 01:12 AM

Ah, I see.
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#10 James Steven Beverly

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 01:30 AM

Yes it is like Steve Austin in the "6 Million Dollar Man." My movie features a fully functional humanoid robot which has already been conceptualized. A robotic exoskeleton not yet conceptualized which is an adaptation of a humanoid robot that can operate as either a cyborg or an independent robot as well as already conceptualized bionic hands and limbs feet and eyes. Only real working robotic designs and inventions will be allowed in my movie however a lower budget pilot version will feature conceptual drawings that are presented to the patient rather than actual motorized puppets . Nothing will be phony down to the last gear however the operation of the robot may be simulated.

Artificial Intelligence was the name of Steven Spielbergs movie which was about humanoid robotics. Since artificial intelligence is the computer technology that controls robotics my actresses interest in artificial intelligence or AI qualifies her for a role in my movie. My movie also features a lot of virtual reality psychotherapy sequences as the mind as well as the body is restored.

So actually much closer to Murphy in Robocop except instead of getting shot several dozen times, he jumps off a building. The zoom eye is pretty much a Steve Austin thing though. I am curious, is this actress someone big enough to get your film sold and her name is actually more important than the project she's in or just someone you want to work with enough, for for whatever reason, to completely shelf your original concept and provide a vehicle for her?
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#11 Chris Millar

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 03:03 AM

Can you copy and paste some more snippets of the script please Thomas ?
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#12 Thomas James

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 01:10 PM

Actually my potential actress expressed more interest in my original concept "2084 The Year of Ascension of the Humanoid Robot" rather than the more recent "Nuclear Heaven" which is a movie about space travel and a spin off of 2084. And rightfully so as my original work should be filmed first. I would like to get away from thinking that it takes big name actresses to entice people to see a movie but sadly if not for big name actors and actresses the movie will bomb. However it is difficult to find an actress to play the impossible role of a female Doctor building a cyborg so obscure emerging actresses should not be ruled out however the movie will also feature a male actor playing the part of the cyborg which could easily be played by a big name actor.
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#13 Chris Millar

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Posted 26 August 2010 - 10:03 PM

You've written an impossible role ?

Impressive
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#14 Thomas James

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 04:45 PM

2084,The Ascension of the Humanoid Robot
Chapter 1
Copyright 1994 by Thomas James

It was the year 2048 and there was sitting a man named Eric Blair who would latter become the most intelligent man of the 21st century .But at first most people did not consider him to be that intelligent at all but rather a borderline retard. In fact he was a complete failure and that drove him to contemplate and to attempt to take his own life. He was religious but that did not stop him because he knew that God would ultimately forgive him even though he knew what he was about to do was wrong.
Eric planned on how he was going to kill himself. He worked in construction but could not hold down a job. Yet there was a high rise tower being built in London England which was a province of Atlantica. He belonged to a labor union and as a member the union would have been obligated to dispatch him to a job. The union would have preferred not to dispatch Eric because he was an embarrassment. His inability to hold down a job was causing the union to lose its reputation of being able to furnish the contractors with qualified men. However Eric knew that the contractors would have to hire through the union hall but that did not mean that the employer would have to keep Eric because there was a one week probationary period where Eric could be fired for any reason and the union would not protect his job unless he made it through probation. But every time Eric was dispatched to a job he would never make it through probation. Every time Eric was fired the foreman would tell him that he was too slow or he would not be given a reason at all.
One night as Eric went to sleep he had a dream and in his dream he was building a bridge but he was fired. The foreman was very angry with Eric and he asked why he was fired. "It is because you are too slow." blurted the foreman. Normally Eric would have accepted this and he knew perfectly well that he was not the fastest but this time Eric protested.
Eric: "I may not be the fastest but I am carrying my own weight and keeping up with your average workers who may even be slower than me but you decided to keep them.
Foreman: ' You do not know anything about bridges " the foreman replied angrily.
Eric: " I am not a bridge specialist but I have experience working on bridges. Besides you have kept workers on your crew that are less qualified than I am."
The argument went on. Eric knew that something was wrong but he would not accept an ordinary explanation because he wanted to find out the truth. The foreman then commented on Eric's relationships with people and when Eric tried to defend how kind and respectful he was of other people and how he submitted to authority. But Eric was really asleep and it was all happening to him in a dream. And in his dream the foreman finally said "I found a piece of paper that you wrote, now tell me if this is what you wrote."
Eric began reading a one page writing on the subject of computerized artificial intelligence. The article stated that inferences could be made not only from information but the lack of information as well. The article also stated that computers can actually learn best by their mistakes. Both of these processes were examples of high order thinking and abstraction. Yet on a job you cannot make mistakes and if you have a lack of information you are not qualified to do the job.
Suddenly it dawned on Eric why he was not able to hold down a job. As the mental shock awakened him from his sleep a thought came to him. He was too eccentric. People did not like him because he was considered insane. Its not that he wanted people to hate him but he just thought that the life of a construction worker was far too limiting for any intelligent person such as himself. .If he had kept interest in science to himself perhaps he would not have gotten into trouble. But Atlantica was a free country was it not? Free or not there are some things you just don't talk about on a construction job. All this talk about Einstein which nobody understands and especially trying to explain the concept of the fourth spatial dimension which Eric insisted was not just time because time does not really exist. And talking about politics is a big no no especially talking about socialist politics which got Eric a reputation for being a Commie. The foreman would tell Eric that the only thing he needed to know about Einstein’s theory of relativity is that if he would work at a faster pace the day would go by faster and he would get to go home early. And the foreman would tell Eric to forget about all this commie stuff because it was the rich man that gave Eric a job.
The next day Eric reported to his construction job and was struggling to hold down his job. Yet at the end of the day he saw his foreman approach him with a layoff check. Eric decided to take away his bosses victory over him because Eric reasoned if he killed himself he could not be fired. So he ran as fast as he could to the edge of the building and jumped off and the fall would have killed him but the day before scaffolding was erected which broke up his fall so that he did not die but was severely maimed instead.
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#15 Thomas James

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 04:58 PM

The Ministry of Love Hospital of the State of Atlantica

The novel “2084 the Humanoid Robot” chapter 2
Copyright 1994 By Thomas James

At the hospital a fairly young woman of about age 30 came alongside of the hospital bed of Eric Blair. She was dressed in civilian clothes and was carrying a computerized notepad with a laser pen attached. Doctors were always required to use these devices because nobody except computers could understand a doctors writing which always looks like scribble. She seemed rather petite but was attractive nevertheless.

Margaret: “You are lucky to be alive Mr. Blair. My name is Doctor Margaret Fuller and I am here to help you.”
‘Help me’ ? Eric thought. ‘Another Florence Nightingale but this time it’s a Doctor and not just a nurse’ thought Eric.
Eric: “Nobody ever helped me. They hated me and despised me”.
Margaret: “We don’t hate you Mr. Blair. We love you and are here to help you.”
Eric: “Why didn’t they love me at the jobsite? My own brothers in the Construction Union betrayed me. Nobody appreciates me…”
Margaret: “ We appreciate you Mr. Blair. Why it is fine people like you who built this hospital. We would be in tents if it were not for your services. It’s the governments problem if you have trouble at your job. The government caused the recession and the government failed to end the recession but the recession won’t last forever. Soon you will have a steady job but don’t worry about that for now. Get a good nights sleep and I will see you in the morning.”

The next morning Dr. Margaret Fuller appeared to Eric.
Margaret: “ Mr. Blair I am going to be frank with you. You knew this was going to happen”.
Eric: “ I am afraid I do not know what you mean Doctor”
Margaret: “Your suicide attempt. You knew that you were carrying a lot of stress with you. Why did you not go get help sooner” ?
Eric: “Maybe I should have gotten some help when the problem first began”
Margaret: “Yes you should have but you can thank God that you are still alive”.

Virtual Reality Psychotherapy and 4th Dimensional Mind Control
The Novel “2084 the Humanoid Robot” Chapter 3

Dr. Margaret Fuller walked up to the hospital bed of Eric Blair.
Margaret : “Mr. Eric Blair , I think that you have been carrying a delusion
that you have had some bad childhood experiences. It was a simple act of the will to believe that yours was a happy childhood but you chose to believe otherwise because you saw a virtue in your negative beliefs. It is your negative beliefs that are at fault for again in reality yours was a happy childhood. Do you remember this girl who’s picture I obtained from your high school yearbook? She was your high school sweetheart.”
Eric: “I don’t remember her as loving me at all. She teased me and although I was attracted to her she still would have nothing to do with me”


Suddenly a surge of electrical voltage went through Eric’s head . Dr. Margaret Fuller had Eric hooked up to a virtual electro shock therapy machine. Although the voltages were not strong enough to cause permanent memory loss as Margaret thought this practice to be barbaric the voltages were nevertheless strong enough to create the illusion of memory loss in order to produce a dramatic psychological effect on her patient Eric Blair.

Margaret: “She loved you Eric. She thought that you were the most handsome man in the world. You two were meant for each other. You talked together for hours. She was so interested in what you had to say . She was your friend. She would never betray you. She kissed you and it was like being in heaven.”
Eric: “But that was just a dream”. Instantly another blast of voltage went through Eric’s head.
Margaret: No Eric, that was reality and not just a dream, she really kissed you and made love to you and she had your baby.”
Eric: “She had my baby?”
Margaret: “And she loved you so much but her little heart gave out and she died in your arms at the hospital when she gave birth. She told you goodbye and that she loved you so much. Someday you will see her and your son in heaven”

Suddenly Eric broke out crying. He realized that this was the truth and was not some fantasy. What is good is truth and bad cannot be true. This is what Eric now believed what really happened to him for a good God would never allow a woman to hurt him

Margaret: “ If you look in the sky you will see 2 stars burning. This is your girlfriend and your son. These 2 stars represent them. They are eternal and are in God’s hands”

Dr. Margaret Fuller put her arm around Eric’s shoulder and dried his tears.

Margaret: “You Eric are a good person”

Dr. Margaret Fuller did not know how long Eric’s perception of an alternate reality would last however the fact that she got Eric to believe in this alternate reality even for a moment gave Margaret a confidence that her treatments very successful.
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#16 Chris Millar

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 10:19 PM

nice use of the semi colon

You're very committed, which is to be applauded

hurrah !
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#17 Chris Millar

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Posted 27 August 2010 - 10:27 PM

Helen Mirrin with a bit of CGI like they used on Magneto/Ian McKellen in that X-Men sequel ?

Could she have the Russian accent she had in 2010 ?
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#18 James Steven Beverly

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Posted 28 August 2010 - 05:07 AM

:huh: .......wow, umm, you are right.....that ah, shall we call it I guess a "concept", as written, would be impossible to play, and this comes from someone who has studied for many years and worked as an actor, playwright, stage and video director and drama coach for a long time now.

Look, what you have here is a convoluted hodgepodge of tangents that neither define nor motivate the character. IF you want to see a similar character that is well defined and well written, I would recommend Robert Eroica Dupea from Five Easy Pieces played brilliantly by Jack Nicholson. The character is a man that drifts from menial job to menial job, never living up to his potential, torn with inner conflict, having meaningless relationships and friendships, never letting anyone get really close to him. Your characters, as written, have no passion, no fire and no inner conflict and therefore no interest to any audience member. ALL characters must have 2 things, something they want and something that stops them from getting it and this conflict MUST BE well defined and stated in strong simple terms. A man driven to the drastic, irrevocable act of suicide must have an inner conflict strong enough to motivate such action. Now whether that conflict is real or imagined is irrelevant, the causes of that conflict must still be strong and well defined so I seriously doubt him not being allowed to chitchat about the fourth spatial dimension while strolling nonchalantly across an iron beam at 30 stories would drive a man to arbitrarily say to himself "Hey, this isn't QUITE going the way I thought it should so MAYBE I outta take a swan dive off this here skyscraper instead and see how that works out for me".

Now it might be the final straw in a long struggle that results in his inability to come to terms with his own inner conflict but again that struggles and ultimate loss must be woven within the context of the script.

ALL DRAMA IS CONFLICT!!! Write that down and remember it.

The ancient Greeks even when so far as to distill all drama into 7 basic plots or conflicts (the ancient Greeks had this thing about 7 for whatever reason). They are as follows:

1. man (or woman) vs. nature
2. man vs. man
3. man vs. the environment
4. man vs. machines/technology
5. man vs. the supernatural
6. man vs. himself (herself)
7. man vs. god/religion

It CAN, however, be further distilled to a single all encompassing statement, sort of a unified field theory for the human soul. That statement would be man vs. himself because all external actions are derived from internal conflict. Man first must overcome or submit to the fear within himself before he can act against, retreat from, or, unable to resolve the inner conflict, be overwhelmed by, the threat in or outside himself. Within the context of drama as in life, he cannot but help to react to this conflict, which is also referred to as his motivation.

Another character that comes to mind perhaps even more similar to what you were trying to describe is Will Hunting in Good Will Hunting which is also played brilliantly but this timeby Matt Damon who co-wrote the screenplay. The character is a gifted genius who works as a janitor at an ivy league university, lashing out through criminal acts against his circumstances and is ultimately saved from his own self destruction by a father figure mentor in the form of a worldly wise psychiatrist played well by Robin Williams. These characters are drawn from real human emotion and endowed with strong, definable wants and needs, the actors merely flesh out the dramatic core, complementing the character's well written attributes with their own unique personality and life experiences as well as observations they have gathered by watching the world around them.

Another problem is the world you have created is unfortunately not very well defined. Aside from the fact that a nebulous nation called Atlantica has apparently annexed at least the London, England portion of Briton and that it's democratic no other details that might set the scene have been expressed.

I might, in addition, recommend that if you intend to include a dissertation of the science within your story structure, you do some research into that science. Star Trek may have taken some liberties with the mechanics of the science included in the storyline of their plots for dramatic effect or practical necessity (the transporter comes to mind)but much more often than not, the gist was based on solid scientific theory at the time.

The most grievous shortcoming is, at this point, you have no plot, the best you can say is you have a few mediocre story ideas. MOST scripts, though not all, have a beginning, a middle and an end, defined in 3 acts. The beginning or first act generally introduces all the important information, characters, relationships, situation, time, place, ect. The middle or second act is often the most interesting in which the characters are confronted and tested, the plots changes unexpectedly and the situation becomes more desperate. The end or 3rd act is were the confrontation reaches a climax and is resolved and the characters are forever changed because of it. This road to change in the character is called the character arc and it moves through the all 3 acts but is most apparent in the last act. As a result, there is an old Hollywood saying, a screenplay has 3 acts and the first 2 don't count. A strong finish is essential to a film's success as it is with all literature, that's why writers are often told to find the ending first the work everything else towards that ultimate moment.

Lastly, a character lives in it's dialog and the reality of the lines you give it. Not one single word should be included in a script unless it has a purpose for being there and no single line should be included without dramatic truth behind every single word within that line. Each character must speak in it's own unique voice, just as your friend would not turn a phrase, react, joke or get angry exactly the same way you would, your characters must all be their own individuals with their own way a speaking, moving, reacting and thinking. Your dialog quite frankly is terrible, no truth, no honestly, no unique qualities, no real motivation. I would suggest you try rewriting it but this time think about who these people are, what defines them, what is motivating them on a word by word basis, what is stopping them from achieving what they want and what are they willing to do to get what they want. Picture them in your mind, what are they wearing and why do they dress the way they do, what is their background, how do they feel about the other characters, how do they feel about themselves, how do the other characters feel about them. In other words build actual human beings with their own unique personalities in your mind with all the individual assets and flaws every human being has.

For what it's worth B)
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#19 Thomas James

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Posted 28 August 2010 - 05:38 PM

Chris I think you are right because there is evidence that my potential actress may in fact be part Russian. As for the political affiliation of my main character Dr. Margaret Fuller originally I envisioned her as being liberal perhaps an environmentalist but lets just say her political beliefs evolve as the story unfolds.

Thank you James for the constructive criticism. Praises from Paula Abdul type people are nice but I also need input from the Simon Cowell type people also. My first chapter is not complete and later on I addressed a deeper motivation for the suicide and wrote about how a union boss ordered a criminal physical attack on the construction worker Eric Blair but these manuscripts are handwritten and have not been typed and pasted into the first chapter.
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#20 James Steven Beverly

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Posted 30 August 2010 - 12:13 AM

Well, I believe rudeness for the most part is counter productive, people tend to put up defenses when they feel they are being attacked and don't really hear what you are trying to say. If you want me to be more direct, you have no story, what you have is an idea at least from what I've read so far. You've set this up as a novel. A screenplay may be based on a novel but it is NOT a novel, read the Shining then see Kubrick's film version THEN see the mini series and you'll understand what happens when you try to include TOO much of the novel into the screenplay. If you plan to write a screenplay, it's probably a good idea to learn HOW to write a screenplay. Right now you don't have a clue, you don't even know where to look for a clue. Here, I'll give you a clue, it's on me:

http://www.filmschoo...sson_format.htm

http://www.screenwriting.info/

http://www.scriptolo...formatting.html

http://inkpot.com/mo...s/mscripts.html

http://www.cvisual.c...t-templates.asp

http://celtx.com/

http://www.newfreedo...screenplay.html

OR you can buy Final Draft which is what I would recommend.

NOW as for content IF you can create something one tenth as good as most these, it might be worth the film you use to shoot it:

http://www.movie-pag...vie_scripts.htm

http://www.imsdb.com/

http://www.script-o-rama.com/

Right now you're not in production, you're not even in pre-production and you will never BE in production until you master these skills. Oh, one more thing, once you have written a script, you're not done, Spielberg once said "Thank God for the fifth draft" because you NEVER shoot the first draft, in fact just plow though and get the first draft on paper (or the computer) so you can start the real process of creating a screenplay, the rewrite.
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