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I need critique on my first short


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#1 Andy Joesoef

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Posted 04 July 2011 - 09:21 PM



I appreciate it !!

Edited by Andy Joesoef, 04 July 2011 - 09:21 PM.

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#2 Dave Healey

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 01:57 PM

thx for posting this. i was quite captivated & enjoyed both the 'story' & the visuals - the poetry, if you will. i have more words (will come later)- but wanted to send you props for your hard work.

dh
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#3 Andy Joesoef

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 11:06 PM

thx for posting this. i was quite captivated & enjoyed both the 'story' & the visuals - the poetry, if you will. i have more words (will come later)- but wanted to send you props for your hard work.

dh


wow, thanks!
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#4 Andy Joesoef

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Posted 08 July 2011 - 09:34 PM

Is it really that bad or you are all speechless. I really have no clue, but well this is my first short ever. I don't really care if its bad, I just really enjoyed the process :D
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#5 Matt Stevens

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Posted 16 July 2011 - 10:39 PM

It's too long and repetitive. Cut it down to less than a minute and it will be interesting. That isn't sarcasm. I think it will be much improved by gutting it to its core.
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#6 Matthew W. Phillips

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Posted 16 July 2011 - 11:07 PM

I agree with Matt. This is an interesting idea but you dont want it to wear out its welcome. I would keep it at <2 minutes.
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#7 Andy Joesoef

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Posted 08 August 2011 - 11:29 PM

It's too long and repetitive. Cut it down to less than a minute and it will be interesting. That isn't sarcasm. I think it will be much improved by gutting it to its core.


thanks for your critique, could you tell me specifically the part that is repetitive. i tried to be more visual than anything because the story was not written at all. again, thanks!
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Metropolis Post

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Rig Wheels Passport

Tai Audio

CineTape

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Willys Widgets

Aerial Filmworks

Wooden Camera

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Ritter Battery

The Slider

rebotnix Technologies

Glidecam

Technodolly

Paralinx LLC

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS