Jump to content


Photo

Please critique my work


  • Please log in to reply
3 replies to this topic

#1 Claudio Fusini

Claudio Fusini
  • Basic Members
  • PipPip
  • 10 posts
  • Student
  • Italy

Posted 02 September 2011 - 01:23 PM

Hi everyone!

I would like to show you my work! I made this short exercise when I was at cinematography school here in Milan, Italy.
It's shot in 16mm and there's not a plot behind but the target was to made a good cinematography work in 1 minute.
Any comments and suggestions are appreciated.

here it's the link:



Thanx

Claudio
  • 0

#2 George Ebersole

George Ebersole
  • Sustaining Members
  • 1660 posts
  • Industry Rep
  • San Francisco Bay Area

Posted 24 September 2011 - 10:01 PM

It's well lit, finely cut. I'm not sure what the whole theme is here with the Marilyn Monroe pic. Some good solid basic camera work.

Is it me, or am I the only one posting on this forum?
  • 0

#3 Sebastian De Cesare

Sebastian De Cesare

    New

  • Basic Members
  • Pip
  • 1 posts
  • Producer

Posted 02 October 2011 - 10:13 AM

Hi everyone!

I would like to show you my work! I made this short exercise when I was at cinematography school here in Milan, Italy.
It's shot in 16mm and there's not a plot behind but the target was to made a good cinematography work in 1 minute.
Any comments and suggestions are appreciated.

here it's the link:



Thanx

Claudio


Hi Claudio,

Very nice picture and mood, no really much to critique, maybe more colorful props would have helped, but very nice work.

Cheers,
S
  • 0

#4 Robert G Andrews

Robert G Andrews
  • Guests

Posted 08 November 2011 - 12:26 PM

Claudio,

Classy titles, but I'm afraid my love of this piece ended there. Here's why; -

1. TRACKING - You tracked too fast on your opening shot...and... why are you tracking anyway?
2. EYES - She's looking down, why would you deny us seeing her eyes?
3. LIGHTING - It feels rather dark. Too dark.
4. OBSTRUCTION - Her hand is covering/obscuring the sketch... why?
5. DISTANCE - The shot of her looking up to the right after sketching, was from too afar.

(In 4,5 you didn't connect properly with her person. I would have liked the lens closer)

6. CONTRAST - Her sketched t-shirt somehow clashes with her sketches and, in fact, competes. You need contrast.
7. LIGHTING - It was still too dark so I didn't realise she was going to turn on a projector.
8. WATCH - She's touching herself... wearing a watch! She might as well pause to check the time.
9. EYES - I still haven't seen her eyes.
10. FINGER - She shouldn't run her finger down the front of the photo, probably the frame...and slower... or just stare at it.

11. Mood was okay
12. Music was okay
  • 0


Broadcast Solutions Inc

New Pro Video - New and Used Equipment

Rig Wheels Passport

FJS International, LLC

Wooden Camera

Willys Widgets

Metropolis Post

Glidecam

CineLab

Ritter Battery

The Slider

Aerial Filmworks

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

Abel Cine

Visual Products

Technodolly

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Paralinx LLC

CineTape

rebotnix Technologies

Tai Audio

Aerial Filmworks

Ritter Battery

The Slider

Glidecam

Metropolis Post

New Pro Video - New and Used Equipment

Technodolly

CineTape

Tai Audio

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Wooden Camera

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Visual Products

FJS International, LLC

rebotnix Technologies

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

Rig Wheels Passport

Paralinx LLC

Willys Widgets

Abel Cine

CineLab