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Please critique my work


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#1 Claudio Fusini

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Posted 02 September 2011 - 01:23 PM

Hi everyone!

I would like to show you my work! I made this short exercise when I was at cinematography school here in Milan, Italy.
It's shot in 16mm and there's not a plot behind but the target was to made a good cinematography work in 1 minute.
Any comments and suggestions are appreciated.

here it's the link:



Thanx

Claudio
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#2 George Ebersole

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Posted 24 September 2011 - 10:01 PM

It's well lit, finely cut. I'm not sure what the whole theme is here with the Marilyn Monroe pic. Some good solid basic camera work.

Is it me, or am I the only one posting on this forum?
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#3 Sebastian De Cesare

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Posted 02 October 2011 - 10:13 AM

Hi everyone!

I would like to show you my work! I made this short exercise when I was at cinematography school here in Milan, Italy.
It's shot in 16mm and there's not a plot behind but the target was to made a good cinematography work in 1 minute.
Any comments and suggestions are appreciated.

here it's the link:



Thanx

Claudio


Hi Claudio,

Very nice picture and mood, no really much to critique, maybe more colorful props would have helped, but very nice work.

Cheers,
S
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#4 Robert G Andrews

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Posted 08 November 2011 - 12:26 PM

Claudio,

Classy titles, but I'm afraid my love of this piece ended there. Here's why; -

1. TRACKING - You tracked too fast on your opening shot...and... why are you tracking anyway?
2. EYES - She's looking down, why would you deny us seeing her eyes?
3. LIGHTING - It feels rather dark. Too dark.
4. OBSTRUCTION - Her hand is covering/obscuring the sketch... why?
5. DISTANCE - The shot of her looking up to the right after sketching, was from too afar.

(In 4,5 you didn't connect properly with her person. I would have liked the lens closer)

6. CONTRAST - Her sketched t-shirt somehow clashes with her sketches and, in fact, competes. You need contrast.
7. LIGHTING - It was still too dark so I didn't realise she was going to turn on a projector.
8. WATCH - She's touching herself... wearing a watch! She might as well pause to check the time.
9. EYES - I still haven't seen her eyes.
10. FINGER - She shouldn't run her finger down the front of the photo, probably the frame...and slower... or just stare at it.

11. Mood was okay
12. Music was okay
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Abel Cine

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

The Slider

rebotnix Technologies

Willys Widgets

Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Metropolis Post

Visual Products

Paralinx LLC

Wooden Camera

Glidecam

Aerial Filmworks

CineLab

Tai Audio