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Would Like Feedback: Short Film (supernatural)


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#1 David Katauskas

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Posted 06 September 2011 - 10:22 PM

This is my first short video production. It really can use an honest perspective and criticism. Thank you!

http://player.vimeo.com/video/21111338
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#2 David Katauskas

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Posted 13 September 2011 - 09:55 AM

Anybody? :-)
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#3 Alain Lumina

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Posted 09 October 2011 - 02:29 PM

dupliduplicate
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#4 Alain Lumina

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Posted 09 October 2011 - 02:32 PM

well, one big thing is it's finished! Most projects never get that far including mine!!

But I'll admit I only watched a couple minutes. The focus, color and lighting seem good, it was just too slow with no tension introduced.

The intro is way, way too slow, long black pauses between opening credits. You can have dramatic pauses in film, but you have to build tension first,
otherwise it just seems pointless and meandering.

IDK if it's my system but the faster pans look jerky.

too many shots of the dollhouse in opening, there's no introduction of characters, it's just objects, so there's no drama. it just looks ponderous with
the very slow pacing.

Who or what are we supposed to care about in the first minute?

Now if right in the first 10 seconds after the title, you showed the daughter asking the mom "Do you like my dollhouse?" and the mom backs away terrified saying "Please don't!"; I'd
be curious.
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Gamma Ray Digital Inc

Rig Wheels Passport

Metropolis Post

Broadcast Solutions Inc

Paralinx LLC

rebotnix Technologies

Ritter Battery

Tai Audio

Glidecam

FJS International, LLC

Media Blackout - Custom Cables and AKS

The Slider

Aerial Filmworks

Abel Cine

Opal

Visual Products

CineLab

Technodolly

Wooden Camera

CineTape