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#1 Mustafa

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Posted 11 December 2011 - 03:28 PM

Guys I have to make a short film for a school event need some ideas

The topic is 'Echoes of the past'

Please help me by giving ideas of what should be the story and how I should shoot it. It should not be more than 7 minutes so please keep it short and simple. I will be shooting with Canon 550D.

Here is my storyline:

A guy comes to the protagonist and brief him of the plan of robbery of truck they are going to attempt and then in the next scene, they intercept the truck and after taking on guards and driver they rob the truck and the protagonist walks away with bag of cash and jewelery, then one of the guards stands up and a shot is heard, then in next scene protagonist wakes up from the dream and stands up goes outside in the lounge of his room and there are stacks of money on the table he lights his cigarette and then torches all the money. THE END

Do give your feedback on my story and please help me.
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#2 Archie Campbell

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Posted 14 December 2011 - 12:49 PM

Since you are shooting on a 550d which I assume is your own and you don't seem to be using anything else (rigs, lighting etc.) I would recommend simplifying your script a bit.

Scrap the van, scrap the outside shots and try and shoot it indoors where you will be better able to control all the aspects of your film.

You could have two inside locations, one being whatever you use for the first scene and the second for the bedroom.

I think you will find 7 minutes is actually a very long time to make a film and you will need quite a bit of dialogue and lots of shots to be able to keep it good.

Maybe post some of your previous work so we can see what level you are at and then make suggestions based on your current abilities.
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#3 Mustafa

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 05:01 PM

Since you are shooting on a 550d which I assume is your own and you don't seem to be using anything else (rigs, lighting etc.) I would recommend simplifying your script a bit.

Scrap the van, scrap the outside shots and try and shoot it indoors where you will be better able to control all the aspects of your film.

You could have two inside locations, one being whatever you use for the first scene and the second for the bedroom.

I think you will find 7 minutes is actually a very long time to make a film and you will need quite a bit of dialogue and lots of shots to be able to keep it good.

Maybe post some of your previous work so we can see what level you are at and then make suggestions based on your current abilities.


I will not just be shooting with 550D , I can arrange other cameras as well.
plus I will have lights, mics and I can arrange other things too.. and yes there will definitely be dialogues, what I wrote above was more of a draft.

and since this is my first time, I dont have any previous work to show just need ideas for the story that mixes well with the theme 'Echoes of the past' and it should be under 7 minutes including credits and title.

I just need ideas for story and screenplay corresponding to the theme. and I need professional advice on my story, does it correspond with the theme? or should I change it? PLEASE HELP ME. :)
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#4 Freya Black

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Posted 17 December 2011 - 05:52 PM

Here is my storyline:

A guy comes to the protagonist and brief him of the plan of robbery of truck they are going to attempt and then in the next scene, they intercept the truck and after taking on guards and driver they rob the truck and the protagonist walks away with bag of cash and jewelery, then one of the guards stands up and a shot is heard, then in next scene protagonist wakes up from the dream and stands up goes outside in the lounge of his room and there are stacks of money on the table he lights his cigarette and then torches all the money. THE END

Do give your feedback on my story and please help me.


Well some questions might be, "why does he torch all the money?", "how does any of it connect with the theme", "is his dream an echo of past events?" Your storyline just details what happens but not anything about motivations? It's a rough outline so thats sorta understandable but you need to know what your characters motivations are, and they might need to be clear in the film depending on what you are trying to say?

I'd advise you to also be flexible with your outline, your script and your ideas, so you can adapt to changes in the production as needed. Think about what your plan b's might be.

love

Freya
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#5 Brian Drysdale

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Posted 18 December 2011 - 04:14 AM

I just need ideas for story and screenplay corresponding to the theme. and I need professional advice on my story, does it correspond with the theme? or should I change it? PLEASE HELP ME. :)


You need to use your full real name it's one of the rules.

Regarding your outline, how do the audience know this might be a dream? What does the protagonist need? Does doing the robbery help or hinder them fulfilling their need? You've outlined a plot, which doesn't seem to be the story, you've still to reveal that.
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#6 Mustafa

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Posted 21 December 2011 - 07:46 AM

Thanks for all your ideas and tips.

What if you had this topic 'Echoes of the past' and you had to make a short film on it. what story would you come up with and how will you direct it ?

Please give me some ideas for the plot. I think the one I mentioned is very weak.
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