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Take a look! Any forms of constructive criticisms accepted

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#1 Alvin Joo

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 02:08 AM

Hey guys, my name is Alvin Joo, I'm a 19 year old Korean-American whose dream is to make a living of a doing what I love, making films. Not quite sure what aspect of it I want to pursue, ie: cinematographer, director, etc. However, I do love making films and telling stories visually. I recently finished making a short film that is a required supplement when applying to the Dodge College of film and media arts in Orange, CA. And I figured, "why not show it to people who have greater experiences than me and receive some advice or criticisms about it"?

 

The guidline was simple yet difficult to execute: "Create a self-introductory video essay no more than two minutes in length. Your video should visually highlight something about yourself, your personality, your interests, etc. that is not related to film. The only rule is that you may NOT appear in the video in any way (including any photographs of yourself), so be creative. We are primarily looking for your strengths at conveying a story visually and for evidence of your creativity rather than your technical abilities."

 

I thought deeply and tried to figure out what the admission staff were really looking for. Having seen many of these "video essays" (many being posted on Youtube) being only consisted of applicants merely listing their hobbies and accomplishments, I wanted to follow the prompt and decided to tell a story putting as much of my personality into it.

 

Two minutes was, unfortunately, very short, and I definitely feel I should have thought of better ways to transition each scene. But again, two minutes.. I nearly omitted 50% of the clips I wanted to use but could not due to the limitation. In the end I did my best in order to not confuse the viewer.

 

It's not perfect, but given the limited resources and time I had, I did my best. There are not many, if any, special camera movements due to my limited knowledge and experience with using them. This is where I would like to ask you guys for help and advice. If there was anything you guys would have done to change the composition, camera placement, lighting, pacing, movement, etc what would it be?

 

Thanks for your time! :)

 

 


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#2 Maximilian Hillmer

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 03:38 AM

Hey Alvin, its a pitty but in my country the video is blocked and you can't watch it.

Is there another way to show your work?

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#3 Alvin Joo

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Posted 03 June 2013 - 02:10 PM

Oops sorry! I uploaded it on vimeo for everyone outside of the US!

 


Edited by Alvin Joo, 03 June 2013 - 02:11 PM.

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#4 C Kenneybrew

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Posted 05 July 2013 - 11:04 AM

Cool nice to see a fellow Californian on here! I liked it. The concept was entertaining and funny. Good job


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#5 David Mullen ASC

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Posted 05 July 2013 - 11:29 AM

It was cute, accomplished the job.

 

I think when it came to the "be tech-saavy" part it would have been funnier if he was diffusing a bomb...  

 

Those montage shots could have been a little bit slicker -- symmetrical wide-angle centered composition ala Wes Anderson perhaps (closer and wider-angle).

 

Perhaps it would have been funnier to end ironically, he gets into a fancy sports car only to end up stuck in traffic again.


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#6 Alvin Joo

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Posted 19 August 2013 - 08:57 PM

Thanks for the advice! I actually wanted him to crash his car right after he saw the billboard. Thus, end with him waking up from his mild coma, everything being a dream. However, it was nearly impossible to fit that all in two minutes :(

 

Anyways, I got rejected to the school unfortunately... I'll just do better this coming year.

 

Or maybe even try to find a job or internship directly. Thanks again!


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#7 Phil Rhodes

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Posted 20 August 2013 - 04:16 AM

My only query about the pictures is that some of the stuff in the conference room, where she's pointing out things on the screen, seem a bit lifted in the shadows - it's all a bit grey. Is this intentional?

 

P


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#8 Abhilash

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Posted 28 August 2013 - 06:11 AM

Thanks for the advice! I actually wanted him to crash his car right after he saw the billboard. Thus, end with him waking up from his mild coma, everything being a dream. However, it was nearly impossible to fit that all in two minutes :(

 

Anyways, I got rejected to the school unfortunately... I'll just do better this coming year.

 

Or maybe even try to find a job or internship directly. Thanks again!

Hey Alvin:

 

Sad to note on rejection news. But let me say, I liked your video. My amateurish review comments :)

 

# The way you have attempted to tell story on you has been achieved its objective-I feel.

# The actor you have selected did good justice to the role.

# Funnier elements could have added more impressive salt  as David Mullen commented in earlier post.

# I liked struggling part in B/W later achievement moved to color tones. @ 1:28 mnts.

# Liked the symbolic shot that after achievement he gets into lift which was flooded with light.

 

Then onwards it looked suddenly dull - probably due to outdoor shooting? 

 

May we know how did you accomplished this -like camera chosen, shots selected etc etc,, 

 

Abhilash Peethambaran. 


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#9 Oliver Hadlow Martin

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Posted 28 August 2013 - 07:49 PM

Thanks for the advice! I actually wanted him to crash his car right after he saw the billboard. Thus, end with him waking up from his mild coma, everything being a dream. However, it was nearly impossible to fit that all in two minutes :(

 

Anyways, I got rejected to the school unfortunately... I'll just do better this coming year.

 

Or maybe even try to find a job or internship directly. Thanks again!

 

Ah that sucks I thought it was a good funny/ cute video.

 

The jump cuts at the end were a little off for me but as you said you had time restraints. 

 

Good luck with your future endeavors. 


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#10 Alvin Joo

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 04:15 AM

My only query about the pictures is that some of the stuff in the conference room, where she's pointing out things on the screen, seem a bit lifted in the shadows - it's all a bit grey. Is this intentional?

 

P

Hey! It's been a long time since I've edited the video. However, I remember wanting to go for an "old" picture style. That may possibly be the reason to the greyish color. Or, it may be the lack of experience in color correcting :P


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#11 Alvin Joo

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Posted 06 September 2013 - 04:19 AM

Hey Alvin:

 

Sad to note on rejection news. But let me say, I liked your video. My amateurish review comments :)

 

# The way you have attempted to tell story on you has been achieved its objective-I feel.

# The actor you have selected did good justice to the role.

# Funnier elements could have added more impressive salt  as David Mullen commented in earlier post.

# I liked struggling part in B/W later achievement moved to color tones. @ 1:28 mnts.

# Liked the symbolic shot that after achievement he gets into lift which was flooded with light.

 

Then onwards it looked suddenly dull - probably due to outdoor shooting? 

 

May we know how did you accomplished this -like camera chosen, shots selected etc etc,, 

 

Abhilash Peethambaran. 

Thanks for the review! Answering your question. I shot with my canon 550d. Lenses used were mostly the 50mm f/1.8. Shot selection did not have much thought in them. I just used my gut and shot whichever angle/location I liked best!


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#12 Amrit Sandhu

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 08:59 AM

Hi Alvin, I thought it was entertaining. How much did you spend on this (time and money)?

 

Bare in mind that I am a complete unexperienced novice.

 

I thought the concept was great, going to school to learn to be like Alvin.

 

I can't put my finger on it. It would be good to see what the entrants who did get in made. Personally, I am used to seeing the slow kind of awesome scenic shots. I would have thought some of those would have been included. However I think what you've produced is totally original and unique to what I was expecting, and it was quite entertaining.

Was it really you? Perhaps that's what the school were looking for. Who knows. 

 

I wish you were in London mate, I'm desperate to get together with a fellow film maker and start learning how to film. 


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#13 Alvin Joo

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Posted 01 October 2013 - 02:30 AM

Hi Alvin, I thought it was entertaining. How much did you spend on this (time and money)?

 

Bare in mind that I am a complete unexperienced novice.

 

I thought the concept was great, going to school to learn to be like Alvin.

 

I can't put my finger on it. It would be good to see what the entrants who did get in made. Personally, I am used to seeing the slow kind of awesome scenic shots. I would have thought some of those would have been included. However I think what you've produced is totally original and unique to what I was expecting, and it was quite entertaining.

Was it really you? Perhaps that's what the school were looking for. Who knows. 

 

I wish you were in London mate, I'm desperate to get together with a fellow film maker and start learning how to film. 

Hey Amrit! The only cash I spent was probably the dinner bills I had with the cast!

 

And no it was not me. The rules specifically stated that I could not appear in the video.

 

Hey! I might attend a school in Oxford for a study abroad program in the spring! Maybe possibly meet up!


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#14 Roman Latkovic

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Posted 27 October 2013 - 11:11 AM

It was cute, accomplished the job.

 

I think when it came to the "be tech-saavy" part it would have been funnier if he was diffusing a bomb...  

 

Those montage shots could have been a little bit slicker -- symmetrical wide-angle centered composition ala Wes Anderson perhaps (closer and wider-angle).

 

Perhaps it would have been funnier to end ironically, he gets into a fancy sports car only to end up stuck in traffic again.

 

Alvin, it sucks they rejected you, but your attitude tells me it would not stop you at all, on the contrary :)

What Mr. Mullen said is more important than it migh appear: your approach was comedic, therefore you may have thought a bit more about how to make each shot, each piece of puzzle more funnier, fresher, cutter, more suprising, like in his suggestions.

I also think you were lucky for not having $$ to crash the BMW and "wake up" from a dream. IMHO it would have been a cliché, such an ending, too easy way out of the story. 

But you did achieve what good storytelling must do - your short engaged me, made me want to know what's going to happen next and, even, made me guess what would happen.

Good luck with all that you do!

 


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