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#1 James Steven Beverly

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 07:48 PM

My Canadian producer friend, John Talbot sent me these. Maybe you heard 'em but I laughed my ass off (I had it reattached because that's not a good look for me). Check 'em out:

 

What's the difference between a DP and God? God doesn't think he's a DP.
Why is thunder after lightning? Even God has to wait for sound.
How many first-time directors does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, what do you think?
Q(how many PAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A(, 1 to do it, 5 to wish they were asked to do it
 
Why did they invent the dolly? To teach grips to walk upright
 
 
There's a group of surgeons in the hospital operating on a patient. Things start to get tense and one of them drops a scalpel. One doctor looks at the other and says, "Calm down, it's not like we're making a movie here."
 
How many EPs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
What are you talking about? EPs screw in hot tubs, not light bulbs.
 
-What's the heaviest thing the grips carried all day? -the art department.
-what's the difference between a PA and a dog? -people get upset when you mistreat a dog.
 

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#2 Chris Millar

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Posted 12 January 2014 - 08:41 PM

I heard the heaviest thing/grips one in this form:

 

What is the heaviest thing a grip has to carry?

 

--the production

 

Also:

 

 

Why do sound technicians only ever count to two?

 

--because you have to lift on three


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Aerial Filmworks

Rig Wheels Passport

Wooden Camera

Abel Cine

Glidecam

The Slider