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TWO EVILS - A Found Footage(ish) Short Film (looking for criticism)

found footage short twist canon60d

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#1 Max Hall

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Posted 12 January 2015 - 08:52 PM

Hello, everyone. I am a high school student and wanted some feedback on the first real short film I've made. I know that the 'found footage' idea is a bit overused, but I wanted to come up with a more unique and practical approach to it. It's two minutes long.

 

If you decide to watch it, feel free to give me honest criticism!

Thanks!

https://www.youtube....h?v=LWCNt8DffOU

 

 


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#2 Marc Anthony Sepulveda

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 04:02 AM

Story wise that made no sense. 


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#3 Max Hall

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 10:01 AM

Thanks for watching. How so?
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#4 Marc Anthony Sepulveda

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 02:45 PM

Well I know for a short you have to give what the point of the story quick like at the beginning. I just didn't get how I was supposed to  relate to the story. Who were the guys with the gun? What did they want? Why did they want the code? The girls had her dads code or was it actually the girls code? Why would the girl have her dads code? 

 

Either way I do think it was shot well. I like how you had the computers point of view. Lighting was good 

 

I like the edit for the most part just when you see the guys with the gun it should have been from the computer screen not the reverse angle away from the computers. 

 

These are just my opinions of the story. I liked what you did just felt lost.  

 

Keep it up! :D


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#5 Max Hall

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Posted 14 January 2015 - 03:05 PM

Thanks for the comments!

Here's what I intended to convey:
Jane and Logan went on a date. Logan dropped her off at her house and left for home. Some guys with guns followed Logan home and held him at gunpoint. They forced him to enter his house and call Jane, which is who they really wanted but were unable to get to because of her house alarm. They wanted Jane because her dad is the owner of a bank, which is briefly mentioned. Anyway, the guys forced Logan to call Jane and get her house alarm code, so some other men could enter and kidnap her, presumably to hold her hostage and get money from her dad. That's kind of what I was going for story-wise.

Anyway, thanks for watching! I'll keep your comments in mind next time.
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