Most of this is too dark to see what is going on. Maybe I'll watch it tonight in a totally dark room so I can see what is actually happening.
The music track is so loud it is covering up whatever dialogue is suppose to be happening at the beginning, at least I think there was dialogue. That might have something to do with Youtube,
but I doubt it.
I felt like the longest scene was that of the record spinning... that didn't really help tell the story. But, since I couldn't see anything, I don't know if it actually had anything to do
with the story or not.
If you're going to call something Noir, and I believe Noir covers or can be represented by a wide range of visuals, then perhaps taking a look at the original footage and finding a way to make contrast
with lighting application happen without artificially darkening the picture in post. If this was the way it was shot originally, you need more light, OR you need better placement.
Did you purposefully darken the image in post?