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"Cornered" short film

Cornered utah street prostitution

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#1 Jonathan Tinsley

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Posted 03 December 2015 - 12:27 AM

 

Hey guys, I just wanted to get some comments on my first short film. I have always considered myself a cinematographer much more than director or writer, so I was actually semi-pleased with how this project turned out (especially considering this was my first ever short).

 

Also, this was written, shot, and cut in two weeks.

 

Thanks.


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#2 Tyler Purcell

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Posted 03 December 2015 - 02:53 AM

Nice, really enjoyed it. :)

So which camera was it shot on? I'm guessing FS7.
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#3 Jonathan Tinsley

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Posted 03 December 2015 - 09:30 PM

Thanks Tyler.  It was shot on an a7rii with Cinealta lenses.


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#4 Jonathan Tinsley

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Posted 03 December 2015 - 09:51 PM

Also, I might add: I was really nervous about the steadicam shot being smooth in this.  This is the longest steadicam take I have ever done so far and I know it has its flaws, but what do some of you other guys think about it?  How was the blocking?  How was the operating?

 

I used a Steadicam Pilot with an a7rii with Sony Cinealta lenses. Those lenses are so heavy! I don't think we could have put another ounce on that rig without maxing out the weight.


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#5 Tyler Purcell

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Posted 04 December 2015 - 02:51 AM

Ohh interesting, it looked too good to be the A7, but I haven't see anything from the A7RII before, so that's pretty sweet. The glass helped considerably and your steadicam work was pretty darn good.
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#6 Bill DiPietra

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Posted 04 December 2015 - 10:35 PM

The blocking & the Steadicam shot were the two things that stood out for me.  Very nice.  I was looking for a bit more of a story arc - as it stands, it's basically just a snapshot of her life.  It would be nice to see the larger picture.


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#7 Jonathan Tinsley

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Posted 04 December 2015 - 11:38 PM

Ohh interesting, it looked too good to be the A7, but I haven't see anything from the A7RII before, so that's pretty sweet. The glass helped considerably and your steadicam work was pretty darn good.

My school had just purchased both an a7sii and an a7rii a few weeks prior.  From what I've been told is that the APS-C on the a7rii is much better than the a7sii. So we went with that camera. Yes, the glass helped a ton.  And thank you, I've been really pushing myself in steadicam lately.

 

The blocking & the Steadicam shot were the two things that stood out for me.  Very nice.  I was looking for a bit more of a story arc - as it stands, it's basically just a snapshot of her life.  It would be nice to see the larger picture.

Thanks Bill.  Yes, the story arc is my biggest worry.  I tried to show her turning from a drug fiend with no care to turn her life around, into a much more helpless victim of the streets (mostly with the last shot).  But I don't think that growth as a character was translated to the screen very well on my part as a director/writer.


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#8 Bill DiPietra

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Posted 05 December 2015 - 08:09 PM

I tried to show her turning from a drug fiend with no care to turn her life around, into a much more helpless victim of the streets (mostly with the last shot).  But I don't think that growth as a character was translated to the screen very well on my part as a director/writer.

 

I Initially thought her character was a hooker/drug-addict and kind of took that last shot to be more that the street has become so ingrained in her life that it's a viscous cycle she can't escape from.  And I liked that theme, but I just think it could be way more effective if it were developed into a longer piece.

 

But nice job for your first short.


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#9 Jonathan Tinsley

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Posted 05 December 2015 - 11:58 PM

 

I Initially thought her character was a hooker/drug-addict and kind of took that last shot to be more that the street has become so ingrained in her life that it's a viscous cycle she can't escape from.  And I liked that theme, but I just think it could be way more effective if it were developed into a longer piece.

 

But nice job for your first short.

That's actually quite spot on of what I was trying to go for to be honest.  I do agree, length would have helped a ton.  I might add that this was shot for a competition, but I didn't find out about it until two weeks before the deadline.  It was a very rushed project.  It did teach me A TON however. 

 

And thanks again Bill, it means a ton.


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