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Constructive Critizism


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#1 Allen Achterberg

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 03:06 AM

shot on XL1S, Douple Fog Filter, cropped 2.40

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Thanks,
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#2 Jay Gladwell

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 07:59 AM

Allen, I think it looks nice with one exception--it's too soft for my eyes. I don't think I could watch a very long movie shot this way--maybe a quick scene here and there. My eyes kept trying to bring the images into focus.

Aside from that, I think it looks really nice--lighting and composition. The second image, the profile, the subject seems to be slightly high in the frame for my taste--very subjective on my part. I think his head is more interesting, visually, than his shoulder. I would have tightened the shot or tilted up slightly.

Jay
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#3 David Mullen ASC

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 10:49 AM

Looks nice. Without knowing the context, it's hard to say what's too much diffusion -- this could be a flashback or dream sequence, or meant to have that feeling.

Making the blacks a little blacker may help improve the sharpness a little.

I hope every shot in the short won't have cropped foreheads though.
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#4 David Frank

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 01:26 PM

I really like the color palette , but every shot looks too closely cropped. It looks as if it was shot in 4x3 without a clear idea of how much would eventually be cropped in post. It seems like a 1.78 or so ratio would be more fitting. Good stuff!

-dave

Looks nice. Without knowing the context, it's hard to say what's too much diffusion -- this could be a flashback or dream sequence, or meant to have that feeling.

Making the blacks a little blacker may help improve the sharpness a little.

I hope every shot in the short won't have cropped foreheads though.

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>


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#5 Phil Rhodes

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 02:56 PM

Hi,

Nice, but I'll agree that it's a bit too much frost. I know why this stuff is attractive - it takes off the nasty clippiness you can sometimes get with video, and I've been known to do it myself (what? I do it all the damn time) but you do have to grade carefully and core out the blacks a bit or it does just look fuzzy.

Phil
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#6 Mark Allen

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 04:39 PM

Well... I may totally be misreading what is going on in the shots, but I'll pretend like I have some sense of it just so I can offer some thoughts (other than the general comments that others have said that it is too soft and frosty unless it's a drea. I'm guessing maybe you're doing that to soften the video quality... maybe too much.)

The best of the bunch is the third one.

the first one needs some of the facial sculpting in the last one, his face ends up being totally flat except for the kick on his nose which I find distracting. I'd rather see some sculpting on his face. Since there's a shaft on the third one, seems reasonable there would be a little sourcingon the first as well. I have no idea of the context, but I wouldn't be so cloe on the first one - because I don't see anything that dramatic happning... so unless he's revealing a secret my inclination would be to open it up a tad so you can go in for the punch on the last frame (where I'm assuming something more dramatic is hapening)

In the second frame from a design perspective I feel like you either need to seel the flatness even more by being further away from the grid element to create that very very definite stark straight on feeling - or - you need to angle the camera a bit and give the shot a little dynamism. Right now it isn't conveyng much of anything and I tend to like to see shots that give me a direction to read the scene.
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#7 Allen Achterberg

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 04:50 PM

Dave's Right, it is a flashback. I must admit, I had little Idea what I was doing when I shot this. It was my last highschool short which I randomly threw together 1 day before, no story boards, not even a script really. I know its not good practice but hey, I'm not disatisfied with the outcome of the imagery, although I do agree with it may being a bit to frosty for a still, but in motion and whats going on in the story its rather fitting. And I agree, I wish I could have paid more attention to what would be cropped out, but I rushed to shoot this and didnt spend much time in post fixing that. For me, there are only a few uncomfortable moments so I'll live. Really appreciate your comments. Maybe if I have time I'll host it somewhere so you can watch it, if I do I'll let you know. It runs 6 mins 34 seconds.
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#8 fstop

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Posted 04 July 2005 - 05:09 PM

I absolutely love the images, though I'm disappointed to hear they are soley for a flashback sequence. It seems such a shame to relgate such exciting and experimental images to the almost apologetic dream/flashback sequence. Still, there is a story and a directors vision at hand. ;)

I'd be very interested in learning what kind of fill you were using too- I love your very moody portraits- reminds me of Kimball with Tony Scott. Also, by balancing for the exterior on the second shot, you've created something very beautiful. Can we see some of the non-dream sequence stuff too please? :)

VERY impressive, especially being high school work!

Keep up the excellence! :)
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#9 Allen Achterberg

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Posted 06 July 2005 - 10:04 PM

Here is some of that imagery in motion. For fill I had a simple C-stand with a white bounce card fairly close to the faces, as close as I could get it. Was bouncing the sunset into their faces.

http://knowitallvide...i=1120628628325

http://knowitallvide...i=1120627535934

http://knowitallvide...i=1120628038990

copy and past those into your browser and watch if you are interested. Not the whole short, but its some of that scene in motion and you can kind of get a sence of whats going on
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